September 15th, 2009

Yesterday was an interesting day. Classes went well enough it seemed. I struggled with the kindergarten bilingual class in the afternoon. Their teacher had some specific requests which was more than fine because I like knowing what the students are more acclimated to since it differs--sometimes more than others--from teacher to teacher. I managed to teach most of the class in Spanish, though we did do lyrics and certain things in English. In it though, I had a student who so clearly wanted more attention and the kind of attention I couldn't give in front of a full class. The student was repeatedly speaking/singing/shouting swear words in Spanish, which I knew, and I was frustrated. Eventually, I called their teacher to ask if there was something I could do to address him or what she normally did so I could as well and maintain continuity. Instead, she mentioned that it's just his need for attention and that she would come take him out of the room to sit with her during her prep.

I always feel terrible having to bother other teachers. I know they are busy and like their preps. Again, when I do I feel weak. I feel unsuccessful. I feel embarrassed.

The big highlight of yesterday was the UFT meeting. I don't feel comfortable posting all of my journal regarding this on my blog here but to sum up, I felt surprised and slightly uncomfortable. I am so happy to be part of an organization that will stand by and for me. I'm glad that they work so hard to maintain and negotiate our contracts and work/etc. I appreciate that very much. I also appreciate their insuring that these contractual obligations are being maintained. In so doing, I understand their need to come across as strong and willing to fight for you as well. What I don't necessarily appreciate is an already harsh and aggressive tone toward an administration who, while I understand they ask a lot and I'm glad they push us, I am fond of!! I like being pushed. I'm used to scrambling, I'm used to working hard and pushing limits and doing what I can do. I don't have a problem with doing that now. I know that I can say no. I wouldn't want them to stop seeking my help because our union felt like they were too ambitious etc.

Sometimes I wonder what holds Ed and Policy back more in NYC...the Regime of the Chancellor, The Mayor, Administrators, The Union, or the Teachers, or NCLB (had to throw that last one in).