September 14th, 2009

I went into school today rested with some minor allergy things. I was excited. I was peppy for a Monday morning. I got my mail, went to my room and blasted Monday, Monday for all the teachers in the mini building to enjoy whether they heard/wanted to hear it or not. I then was informed that once again, I would be having a period in the half fill over my double prep today. Great. Fortunately due to lesson planning for the week I had plenty to do. It actually turned out to be the "best" class of the day and really so far. Everyone was responsive. I think we were all engaged but got cut a little short so I wasn't able to distribute notecards and self-assess that notion. They knew the routine. We moved fast. I was happy with the pacing and the movement and the things we talked about. After that, the kindergarten also was a blast. It was kind of one those mornings where I just felt great to be teaching and loving it and loving life.

Then came the after lunch crowd. The first class that I picked up from lunch I had spoken about with the teacher previously. They hadn't had music yet and she let me know that there were still working on lining up etc and having a tough time with basic self control. It was very much there today. It took a long time to get started or even into the room. When we did however we did manage to get some things done much to the kids' credit. It was very stressful at the time. There were a couple students in the class that definitely need one-on-one attention constantly. I'm going to try really hard to engage that need but I don't know yet how to incorporate that without poorly serving the rest of the class.

Following this was the class that I had seen last Wednesday and my first class ever. I was determined to afford the space for the dialogues about expectations etc we didn't have last week. This was already a class with some characters, a few of the second graders were spending their 2nd or more year in 2nd grade which makes the social dynamic interesting. I felt good though, because I noticed that though one student was constantly being called out by other students etc for his name calling and harsh language, he was being prompted by two girls who were very quiet and hard to notice. I only noticed them by accident actually but I was glad I did. When I mentioned it and told the student that I understood why he was upset, I stopped class and we had a 5 minute discussion on name calling/not liking people, etc as a mini conflict management meeting. It really changed the rest of the class. We moved along and settled in and I'm really excited to have them back again.

Dismissal etc. was fine and quick. I was exempt from the PD as it didn't pertain to content specialists so we the clusters(who are mostly new to the DOE) had the chance to talk and vent about things we've done, haven't done, have been told, haven't been told, and have or haven't been asked to do. It's still frustrating not being fully in the loop.

Reflecting on this point further, I started my classes at TC tonight. I LOVED it. Before I get there though, I was thinking about the idea of the faculty as a social group within the building. I am, by the nature of my position, a part of this structure. However, I feel in many ways that I have a need to maintain relationships with the other teachers in order to maintain my part of this structure. In many ways, this has been easy for me so far because I truly love the rest of the staff members and enjoy their help and advice. I also think that being in this individual micro-social structure, within the meso-institutional structural context of the school at large, results in a very particular framework of thinking and being as a first year teacher. My desire to be a part of this structure as well as to find out things that no one from the DOE has told me results in leaning on my staff. I need to know certain things and how certain things work or don't work etc. My ONLY way of knowing is through a singular and limited social structural lens. I'm worried that even as I still try and reflect, engage, and challenge what I am doing, I lack perspective.

On to TC. Classes were fascinating. I can see how much work they will be but I am thrilled to be enrolled in these two classes. I feel as though the research will take me to a new level in terms of my being in the classroom as well as my understanding of the field on a much larger scale. I think that sociology and educational policy is definitely the way I want to go, especially after spending time tonight and in the readings prior to tonight, examining Sociology, other social sciences (the lesser social sciences as one professor jokingly pointed out) and finding both the underlying ties and subtle/not so subtle differences between them and how they then relate to education and schooling (two very different social institutions).

I think I had some more thoughts relating my classes to my day but it's late, and I'm a little loopy. I hope I can remember and write them down tomorrow.